Take a second to think about the first person you developed a crush on. Where were you? How old were you? What did it feel like?

When I was seven I met a girl called Nicola. Nicola lived at the pub in my village, she had black hair and could run faster than anyone I had ever met. I loved her in the way only a seven year old can. Totally and without expectation. I just wanted to be around her all the time, talk to her, make her laugh and race against her even though I’d always lose.

This should have been a sweet and barely worth noting first romantic encounter. Who didn’t have a first crush that was bittersweet and doomed to fail? This is definitely not a new story.

My experience is a little different however, because by the time I met Nicola, which is to say by the time I was seven years old. The shame of my ‘lifestyle’ was already ingrained, I felt dirty, broken and forsaken by God. So, lonely and headed for hell (at the tender age of seven), I made the decision to ignore this feeling, bury it, be normal, be better, be a person that people could love. A straight person.

For seventeen years I repressed my same sex attraction. I repressed this feeling of being other, being damaged, somehow perverted and badly made. Seventeen years is a long time to live with shame, especially if it is based on who you intrinsically are. If I’m totally honest I am only now, aged 29, able to even begin to process it and I still have quite a way to go.

So to business; ‘Is it morally right for five year old children to learn about LGBT issues in school?’ This is indeed a ‘moral’ issue but let’s be clear, it is not about queer adults, it is not even about queer history, its not about political correctness, religion or the gay agenda (whatever that is). These are debates and conversations that, in my opinion, have no place in a infant classroom. Instead this is about the little queer kids in that classroom, it’s about the five year olds who will grow to hate themselves if they aren’t allowed to be themselves, it is imperative they are shown that they are valid and valued exactly as they are.

These conversations might also go someway to educating all children as to how to engage with and accept difference. This acceptance will reduce ignorance in general and specifically begin to make homophobic bullying less prevalent. This in turn will make society a better place for the majority of people. Win win.

The ‘moral’ question here is not should five year olds be forced to learn about LGBTQ issues but rather is it morally right to teach queer kids they are worth less than their straight counterparts? Make no mistake, by omitting information about LGBTQ relationships that is exactly what we are doing and let’s be realistic, young children are learning about straight relationships from the moment they are born.

In my experience five year old kids are the epitome of accepting, it’s their natural state. Mostly they don’t have the attention span to hate anyone for very long. So this ‘conversation’ I keep referencing, this ‘lesson’, isn’t long, it isn’t in depth and for the love of all that is rainbow it isn’t about sex.

Queer people have sex, yes of course they do, but so do straight people- I mean the sheer volume of people in the world gives testament to that. So why when we talk about queer relationships is this immediately translated into some sort of sordid cult of sexual deviancy (honestly most of us just aren’t that exciting, perish the thought) Straight people don’t have any such stigma. Take marriage for example, we as a society have no problem explaining this archaic coupling, which historically was for sex, power and procreation, to young children. Mummies and Daddies is still a popular childhood game, but no one would argue that this role play is turning our young people into perverts one playground at a time. With straight relationships we are able to acknowledge that although sex may play an integral role in a relationship, it isn’t the only or most important part and it is the same for queer relationships.

The assimilation of queerness, shame and sexualised deviancy has to stop. They are not mutually exclusive. This assumption ignores the reason that the majority of people, regardless of orientation, get into relationships in the first place. Humans need to be loved. It really is that simple. This is why we seek out relationships in whatever form and in essence this is what five year olds should be taught. We have an incredible opportunity to teach this generation that they are worthy of love without shame, regardless of sex, gender or orientation.

It’s really not a radical idea, and once again it really and truly is not about sex. It’s actually about keeping people safe.

According to stonewall nearly half (45%) of LGBT pupils are bullied for being LGBT in Britain’s schools and nearly half (48%) of Trans people under the age of 26 said they had attempted suicide.

This simply is not good enough.

Although there are lots of factors that can contribute to suicide, one of the most prevalent in the LGBTQ community is institutional homophobia which often starts with bullying at school. It isn’t going to happen over night but we can begin to unpick this by teaching tolerance and acceptance from a young age. By recognising differing family structures we send a clear message that happy healthy LGBTQ people do exist and we are able to love and thrive just like our straight counterparts. This is not radical and it’s not groundbreaking. But for the queer kid who is isolated and drowning in otherness this is a lifeline.

So, if this conversation could literally save lives, can we afford to avoid it?